CCC Virtual Circle of Conscious Creation Harvest April 16, 2015 

Guiding Question:

As we learn to embody transition – with its seeming paradox of leaping and tethering, soaring and grounding,

How might our sense of Self, family, community, place, work, even our sense of belonging, be changing?

(Just prior to the call) Nina: Card in the flow game: Action without vision can be like a bulldozer forcing its way through. But vision without action is like a beautiful painting shut away, where nobody sees it.

Present: Judy in Colorado, Saira in Massachusetts, Lena in Austria, and Nina in Brussels


Collective Presencing Circle Conversation

Heart and Egg as talking pieces

Art by Analesa Berg

Art by Analesa Berg

As we learn to embody transition – with its seeming paradox of leaping and tethering, soaring and grounding,

How might our sense of Self, family, community, place, work, even our sense of belonging, be changing?

Nina: I have a feeling of untethering. The feeling has been boosted in recent weeks because I am following the Charles Eisenstein on-line course, called the Space Between Stories. Very much about transition but also very much about Not Knowing, about resting in a space that is not the old story, but not completely the new story either. (Nina dropped off)

(some laughing in the group and these comments)

Lena: Resting in the unknown.

Saira: She became untethered.

Some talk of how to reconnect her, but there was no way.

Judy: It’s like learning to deal with the uncertainty of the unknown, the kind of glitches that just seem to happen or the way things become not the way they are supposed to be and to continue to work with that and be present in all that we are.

Nina: (she later types in) I came untethered – ha ha…

Lena: Heart. I was a bit confused with the first part of the question. Learn to embody transition? How do we learn to embody transition? What are our tools to embody transition? We try out different things – like Nina is on this on-line course, we try out so many things. Can we really learn that or do we really need to learn it? Or is it something that just happens. Transition happens all the time. We have a concept in our heads that transition needs to look a certain way. It needs to be something Big, move yourself from one place to another. Transitions are diverse and also small and barely noticeable. I don’t know, so was just wondering about this part of learning to embody transition?

Second part of the question, I was really feeling Yeah, Wow, that is what is changing in my life about the belonging and the sense of self, and family, and community and place, and work, everything has changed and in a nice way. I am really amazed to discover this new type of life, more life than I have ever had in my life. Maybe when I was very young, but in between life was a lot of work, in the sense of what is called work. Now I am struggling with undoing all the things that I linked to work, have to get up early, have to go to offices or places where you do not really want to be that time of the day, but you still do it, because it’s work, and it’s what you should be doing, what you have to be doing. If you don’t do it, you are struggling with the fact that you are not doing it. I think I am over that part; maybe that is the transition that I have made so far, but not completely. I want to let go of this must, having to have this structure. Work is becoming more fluid. Work can be any connection with someone else. And work can be when I am out in the garden planting herbs. That’s also part of my work now. Others may not call it work; they would call it a hobby. So what is work? And community? On the farm we had as our slogan, Obenaus – living in community. And then I thought not so many living here, only 4 people – me, my children and my husband.   Not much community in that sense. Then I realized that if I take away living in community, it is a community. It’s a local community, it’s a global community, and also it is a way of living. It’s a living community.  As I just came back from the Learning Village where it was very much a living community, a very, very nice experience. Living with as little structure as possible, with almost no rules. And it was sometimes a struggle, but most of the time it was really really nice. The focus there was how can we really share our gifts with each other and what happens then? The richness of what happened was when the acceptance was there and the assumptions and judgments were put aside. So much can happen when you really start valuing each other, really supporting each other in a loving way. I saw amazing things happening in just these 5 days. The bonding there is really, really strong. And the learning village continues. As we continue to travel we always meet people from the village that somehow managed to arrange that they could be in the same place as we were and we were also arranging to be in the same place as they were. Now some are coming here tomorrow and on Monday another two. It’s interesting what’s happening right now. There’s a lot of opening up. A lot of heart to heart connections and it gives me a lot of hope. I put the Heart in the middle again.

Judy: Heart. What is it or what can it mean to learn to embody transition? I am just sensing into that a little bit more. It seems for me like I am called to be fully grounded, present in human form, and yet things are shifting and changing all the time. And to be fully present to that. To be in that Not Knowing! It does feel a bit untethered because what was familiar isn’t really there now. Or as what you spoke, Lena, about work and what it used to feel like. That might have been familiar but I don’t want to be there anymore. And yet, do I fully know what is next? Not always, but I get some clues. So I am just watching as I open more and more, what seems to synchronistically show up. It seems as if – when I am more and more willing to step forward, more shows up. And when I release all my expectations that seems to open that door wider. And sometimes there’s so much there, it’s almost scary. I want to back up a little bit. So there’s times lately too when I feel like – and this is kind of the part about the leap or the soaring – and still needing to be grounded or somehow connected. Tether is a word that is kind of hard. It has a sense of limiting or restricting. And yet, maybe it just means to be linked or that there is at least a thread that is connecting me to Earth, to you, and to all that we are doing here, and to something beyond. What I thought of this morning in my quiet time, was how part of what I do sometimes or am called to do – to kind of be in two places at the same time, not physically, but in presence. So to take that leap out of the manifest realm. It could be in a grouping of people, any kind of gathering or meeting. There’s a part of me that’s looking at it from some distant perspective and watching what’s going on in the system. Kind of a meta view. And noting and seeing something I might not see when I am immersed, and yet being immersed in the system at the same time. And so those 2 things are going on. (Nina is back, I could hear her breathing). I feel like I am being called somehow to take this visionary or higher or broader perspective all the time. And to hold that, and yet to notice what is going on in the system, and its patterning, and its re-patterning, and it’s struggle all at the same time – as I am present there. Maybe that’s how I will have the presence or vision or whatever is needed, hopefully with others, to shift something in the old patterning, or the Old Story. Feels like an important piece of me learning to embody this transition and to be in these different perspectives or places or a different sense of self and of community.

Nina: Back now and can hear you🙂

But we could not really understand her when she spoke. So she began typing as we worked with the interruptions in transition.

Nina: it’s sharing the experience I think.

I called in by Skype as the phone went dead, and it’s not so good either. And I feel in the space between!

The course isn’t about teaching so much, as about sharing.

One of the stories shared was about how we language things – with assumptions and language that we take from the Old Story. Even telling ourselves to take a break or let go of the old can be part of the Old Story – the “New Thing” I HAVE to do to be good, etc.

(Nina: Funny that you can hear the breathing but not the speaking!! We all giggle a bit.)

Lena: (While Nina was typing) I wonder why it’s often hard to hear Nina. Here we are in the middle of the countryside (in Austria), and we just have this old copper line. Not a very speedy line. I am on the telephone. Just amazed. In the village they are discussing if we will get a good and speedy Internet connection. It would really be good so we could have a Co-working space. We call it a cow-working space because we want to have it in the cow barn! And have people coming from the cities and just working here. Bringing their projects and laptops. At the same time being able to be in nature. We are seeing what technology makes possible. It is quite amazing. Coming back to our tools for transition, I think that is also very very important. Just the tools, a bit speeding up, without getting stressed about it. We don’t have that much time! Our little lifetime in this life that we are here. At the same time it is nice to go away from the notion of time, and like you said, to be fully grounded and present in each moment. Time doesn’t matter. I think that is also what makes it possible to move from one place to the other without much effort. We were traveling for 3 weeks through Scandinavia, and doing constellation work, which brought us very present. It was really effortless to travel. For me it is really the practice – to practice the grounding and the presencing in each moment. Heart back.

Nina: The thought about untethering was to do with letting go also of the language of “should” and “ought to“…becoming sensitive to the narrative of the old way. Piece back and thanks for your patience!🙂

(Nina went went off and got back by phone so her voice should be clear! But we lost her again soon)

Saira: Heart. It’s been amazing to be on this call because I feel like we fade in an out – I hear pieces of what people are saying – and it’s incredibly connected, what each of you have said. I am feeling very quiet – sitting in my studio. On the wall in front of me I have 12 paintings that I’ve done over this winter and I have another stack here on the table. I’ve mentioned in earlier calls – in December I woke with a clear message of what I was to pursue in painting and I have a show in June in France. What I heard coming out of my dream state was that I was to be making spirit portraits of individuals who have lived physically on this Earth, or objects that have lived physically on this Earth, and from each of these I would learn something that would bring me to a greater sense of wholeness, a wider range of skills. When I woke form this in December, my reaction was, “No that’s not what I want to do”. I’ve been making paintings for decades about physical environmental spaces, sacred sites in earlier times or places of high energy in the present time. So I embarked on this project. I woke and I made lists of individuals, then I started making these very small paintings which are invocations to a particular person. For each of them I immersed myself in the record they have left of their being on Earth. I spent the winter months quite isolated because of the storms; the snow, but in a very quiet place in my studio. Here I have 12 images in front of me. It’s remarkable to see them because I see there are some very ancient voices, some more contemporary, and there’s also a tree. I think I have mentioned this tree in an earlier call, behind the abbey Sanonque in Provence. I have an image invoking Lau Tzu. I was facilitating at a Gloucester Conversation a week ago, Monday, and before going into that meeting I called on Lau Tzu as I have come to know him, as a kind of spirit guide. I found a lot of strength in that as I entered into the conversation that night. So each of these individuals has a very different voice, a very different way of embodying the sacred in the physical. It’s very interesting as we were talking in this conversation, the painting I was working on yesterday, I started as a painting of my spirit teacher I have been working with for decades. I thought I don’t want to give him a name publicly. How do I bring my vision into action, but as I was working on this small painting, I all of a sudden realized he was shape shifting. There was a form I was familiar with I had not thought about for a very long time that was simultaneously superimposed on his presence. This morning I got an unrelated mail where a friend in France needed a set of pictures and could I put pictures on a CD to send to her. I went onto IPhoto and was going through all these pictures and all of a sudden there was this picture of a small statue that I had taken at the Louvre in Paris 5 years ago. And that’s the figure that was shapeshifiting with my spirit teacher – it was shocking to see it in front of me in its physical dimensions. So there’s this amazing synchronicity, which I feel tremendous connection and strength to all these individuals who I’m am coming to know and who I can call on. My sense of community is expanding as I connect with these individuals who I – I sit in such awe. One is Lau Tzu, another is the Sufi Rumi, another is Lilith(?), and a very ancient bird form in one painting and in another who she is as a woman, but also bird form. And the Pygmies that I spent 2 years studying and learning their drawings and connected with in the forests of Africa. They are one of the peoples I connected to through this work, painting. I feel hugely enlarged by having embarked on this work. This work that is so unlike my teaching because it comes so fluidly and without schedule, or without the structure, words that have been spoken out this call. I enter my studio and I’m in this floating world up on the top floor and the light floats the space. In the painting I am working on, but started on yesterday, the figure is tethered. And the tether is a cord, which tethers to the navel of the Earth. It’s not an anchor but a kind of holding zone to our physical reality, our physical embodiment. I am looking at this figure now as it’s kind of biomorphically shape shifting. That’s sitting next to a painting of Rumi, and it also has that transparency from the movement, but it’s an entirely different embodiment of the life force. So I’m very gratefully changing with the work that I’m doing. Heart back.

Judy: I want to be sure to hear from each of you again before we conclude. I notice there’s been all these little interesting untetherings that shift and shape-shift the ‘field’ we’re in. The paintings, or the people that you just brought in, or the spirits I guess they are – they are like another circle. They’re a circle there for you, and I feel like they are here in some way with us, simply by your invoking and naming them.


Lena: I was hesitating whether to pick up the heart or the egg. I think I will take the egg, but it’s like an open egg.   It’s cracked. And lots and lots is coming out. And I love the story, Saira, of what you are doing. I would love to see your pictures. I can kind of see them in me; it’s wonderful to hear your sharing.

It brought me to think about the friend that was here. She was a little shy, but she was able to see the soul of people – what the soul wanted to say, what the soul wanted to come out with. The people around her. But she could never say anything, because she thought they would think she is pretty crazy. And now lately she has been coming out with this. And it’s not straight forward information, but stories, almost like paintings, telling about where your soul is coming from – which planet, which kind of energy you are coming from. It makes such sense; it has helped me so much to understand where I am coming from and where R (her partner) is coming from, which is a completely different planet. I come from planet Earth, like an elf being, and he is from another star system. This really explains a lot about how he functions and about how I function. Our friend decided to come with us and was in the Learning Village. She was helping people to see where their soul comes from and what does it want here on Earth. Then, of course, they can do what they want with it. Very deep. So interesting with this happening now in these times, how things are becoming much more transparent. I just love seeing people unfolding. And when they get such strength out of this knowing, and so much more clarity. The way that we are doing things which might be different to other people, but just because that’s who we are, that’s where we come from. That’s what I sense right now. It is so exciting to see what’s going to happen, and what’s going to unfold, and how we can work with this to really get to another level. Put cracked egg back.

Nina: I have dropped off again😦  Would love to see your pictures, Saira, wonderful to hear your sharing.

Judy: It’s interesting, I’ve noticed that even for these calls, the Circle of Conscious Creation, there are people who don’t come, or who rarely come, yet somehow they stay in touch a little bit with me, and tell me how much they appreciate staying on the list, and seeing the harvest, even if they are not able to come at this time. It feels like somehow those who are invited, or those who express interest in what we are doing here, or Nina who has been here so often, that they are very much present, even if we can’t hear them or hear their voices. In some way they are in the field. It reminds me of that more subtle sensing that we are developing that you talk about in your paintings, Saira, of invoking the spirit that becomes even more, becomes very present, and even shape-shifts. And Lena what you were speaking out, this woman who can know or see things about soul purpose, or connection, or where they came from. These expanding in a way having some tethers to what’s not totally embodied here right now and yet in some way present and is with us and will always be with us. This may be part of what we are learning in this transition, transitioning beyond time and space. It’s as if that happens when we feel the presence of others who are not physically or technologically with us. Learning to span other realms even as we ground here, we come into community together, we have our work to do here on planet Earth. I liked the cracked egg, Lena. It’s truly cracking open, so I put it back.

Saira: I will pick up the egg which I see is cracked and gooey, and fluid. Hmm – I am so aware of staying in the present moment. I am realizing, sitting in my studio, I am not thinking of what’s next or where this goes, or where I will go with it. I am amazed at all that’s happened since I answered that call in December, making these paintings. And the incredible richness it’s brought into my life. Without any thought of where I was going with it. Staying present feels really essential, staying present and aware of where I am in any given moment, and depending on the need of whatever activity I engage in that I have this community of friends in Earth existence, community on this call, and this community with these teachers. It’s lovely to be in conscious creation. Thank you, this call has been a really wonderful call. I feel like I am missing so much of what Nina was saying; I couldn’t hear and then she dropped out. I am aware of missing that and wish well for her.

Judy: It is interesting how, and I have felt this before especially with those of us who come often, how we are in a sense our own little community of conscious creation. It feels so nourishing to me and it’s just like the circle of beings that you have painted Saira, or like all the people you come across, Lena, traveling from here to there. Each of us bring our own special gift, life experience, the presence of who we are as humans into the circle, including into this call. It seems like that has some kind of energetic amplification power or presence on its own. We miss one when she is not here, like Nina.

Nina: (writing) Just took an angel card. It was “courage” and showed a picture of an angel leaping headfirst into …the space between, maybe?! Lots of love Nx

Silence and Bell for Closing

Next call May 21, 2015

Since Nina was not heard on so much of this call, she and I had another call later. Here is part of that. I notice some things coming through on the meaning of work, which was present on the CCC call. And of course, this conversation is on a different day – so let’s see what’s present for Nina on this day.


Call with Nina April 30, 2015

Nina: A breakthrough in a work project. Hierarchy was trying to control. It was called out. We can’t go along with that. They wanted it the way the political big wigs would want. Ego based. What I am there for is research to align more with those using the Commission. Our work would be in background. We would not sign. Limbo since then. 2 separate but equal web sites. Feels like foundation of house we are building. If that shakes, we should stop building. Shook my confidence in the integrity of the team. Part of team held knowledge they knew would be unpalatable to me and others. It came out. Now we know we were being deceived. Difficult to live with. After Easter, what if I took a year off and then prolonged it indefinitely. Lit like a flame, I felt liberated. I could walk away. I had a few days of feeling numb to the world of work. Surreal, superficial, I had lost trust. We are like chess pieces. Can’t be part of this. Deeper meaning in contrast to silly office life. Last couple of days more positive energy. Detailed report of what we have done, good, solid, rigorous work. Predates deception before Easter. Bathed in the energy of that work on this report. Had hope come back to me. Clear report, professional. A sound wave, when we sound our bell, energy of the good, purposeful, well-intended work will ripple out again. Also a wounded side that feels it got kicked very badly. I am wary now. Watching intently for the decision of the 2 characters of the sites. Will they really be separate. Interesting how strong this new flavor of relationship with my job came in. Felt sick to the back teeth with it. Now in the Not Knowing.

Charles Eisenstein course, probably fanned the flame. 900 people on the course. Stepping out of the old paradigm. Not the old stories. Felt encouraged to step farther in my thinking than to date. Huge financial implications, things we take for granted. Feel anxiety. On the one hand I long to have an empty schedule for months ahead of me, to do nothing, and see what comes up in me to do. I wonder if I would feel foolish for having taken such a drastic step.

Finances – I feel ready to step away – 3 children will soon be in university. Don’t want to compromise those possibilities.

Feels important wherever you are to resonate with a lighted intention. No attachment to that Organization, just happens to be where I am. Not going to save it, or make something. If I and others bring a different vibration in maybe – No maybe about it! That’s good enough! It may be a dying system, but I am alive, and here! I don’t turn up to try to do or make it something else. I just try to be a magnet for a different consciousness. Or represent something different within it. The mundane stuff that comes into my awareness, desk, computer – the stuff with which I deal is irrelevant. The texture of the soil I am growing in. Irrelevant except on the 3rd dimension. On every other level it’s irrelevant. It has no bearing on the intention and energy really deep – that one can try and be a conduit for.

Posted by: judywallace | December 11, 2011

Web-Like (Web-Life) Network of Nodes, of Pods

I often write from contemplative morning space, but do not post for some time.  This (and a couple that may follow) return to a very fertile period of inner sensing in late October, early November 2011.  This was a very intense period of light infusion on a planetary scale.   I offer here what I was sensing/seeing – like pulling threads across – as concepts and words slowing forming on the page.

Nov. 1, 2011 Written coming out of the night of Halloween, Oct. 31.  When the veils are thin, a hole in time, it is said.

Web-like Network of nodes, of pods

When we move into sacred deep circle with intention and presence, circles of co-creation, they begin to build web-like/life connections to others, and even strengthen and nourish others and each other.  An etheric web of connective tissue is built and strengthened.  Like a new being with many nuclei taking form in consciousness, amplifying potential and interweaving signals and electrical connections.  The whole thing becomes alive and continues to seek new pods of connection – waiting, sensing, – seeking new circles of co-creation.

These little networks of pods have started taking form at various places on the planet.  As humans become aware and consciously come together in deep circle, a pod is activated and begins to seek connection and nourishment beyond itself – watching, sensing for others.  As humans we can intentionally create these network nodes at various points on the planet, especially attentive to Earth places, acupuncture points that can magnify the potential of connective tissue seeking others to begin to help humans create them.  This reciprocal relationship between humans and other conscious entities becomes a true co-creation with the planet in creating her new skin, her web of conscious etheric respirating (breathing) and permeable, yet membrane-like protective cover that imbues human consciousness with new wisdom and awareness about living in deep eco-systemic relationship with her and one another.  And her emerging new web of consciousness brings her into yet another level of evolution and connective relationship in her cosmic home and family.

There is a continual birthing in this web-like expansion – bursts in human and Earth consciousness expanding out to create new pods.  The activator is individual and collective human soul awareness and conscious intention to co-create, to seek deep into the unknown, to give over any control, and to be in full participative relationship with the highest future potential.  We are in a reciprocal reaching out, opening, drawing in, waiting, witnessing, actively birthing the new.

My role is to create the space for these deep sacred circles of co-creation, to call others, especially women there.  To hold space, to sense the connections, to notice where other pods are activating or already in form.  How then to weave them into this connective web of membrane tissue?

The School for Collective Leadership can serve this.  Students will come from many places.  A pod is formed in conscious connection with place and yet the humans will return to their planetary home places and begin to activate more circles, more baby pods.  They will need the support, the connective tissue that strengthens the web.  I and others can follow them in some form of active co-creative reciprocal support.  In-person and Skype circles of co-creation will hold the interweaving matrix fabric and sustenance for new pods across vast geography.  These pods that are held across time/space are more expansive or generative pods, carrying not only sustaining capacities but birthing new ones.  Pods birthing pods, a kind of conscious conception.

Posted by: judywallace | October 3, 2011

Vistas from the Future

Vistas from the Future (Is this here now and we simply need to cultivate the eyes that see?)

From my journal on April 23, 2011.  This seems to follow and be directly related to what I wrote on April 22 (posted May 8, 2011)  called “Pods of Awakening”.  It is now Oct. 2011 and  some of this is showing up again (with the assistance of an intuitive). This has caused me to look back and reflect more on this; to notice this moved easily through me several months ago.

Here is what I wrote then – with no changes.

What is the future potential?  How do I sense and experience that?

This became like a shamanic journey meditation state of consciousness.  I was transported with ease, gliding on the energy flowing through my heart center (from back to front and forward).  Like a gentle rocket streaming into and the void.

Then out of the mists a landscape began to appear – green and fresh, clear waters, like the north woods and lakes of northern Minnesota or Maine.  I seemed to come gently to rest at the dock of this pristine lake and a very woodsy-like house structure – large.  It seemed to be home.  Very in tune to the land and natural world this place was home to writers, artists, creative people caring for one another, the food preparation and growing – as if all the basic functions of life are in tune and in support of our joyous and natural creativity.  A harmony of human endeavor and community within the surrounding life wholeness.

Then I seemed to move out and easily up through and over the trees to a high place where great vistas, in every direction – lush green, and lakes (less visible), and abundant life were seen. This seemed a sacred place – initially where humans and others came to sit in circle and access answers to their deepest questions.  Later a structure took form for circle held in protective and natural cover as needed.  Wisdom councils encircle here.

Then I saw there were, at various points in the distance, other little communities.  My sense is they are intentionally small so the Earth presence is constantly and consistently honored and represenced.  They live and work and learn and play as part of the eco-system.  They are integral to the whole.

I saw the School of Collective Leadership at Essex.  I did not stay there as now is not the time, but have the sense it is thriving.  And is also a community of humans and all beings living and learning in wholeness.

Then I became aware of the pods moving gently into the scene – maybe one or two humans who have this ‘beyond-time capacity’ would move into this context of life, or depart.  They are the seeds of wisdom, of the future, implanting and fertilizing our human soil / soul.  And they also exchange energy in a very balanced way, with Earth beings / humans – renewing us and also reclaiming our spent energy, our old and no longer needed emotional and ego stuff.  They can take that in to recycle so that the alchemy of love continues to burn into the human genetic code as the trauma and shadow is ready to go / release. 

I have the sense of being in the human world and a ‘human-like being’ in these pods.  We, in the pods, can live in both worlds; and are in service to the much larger evolutionary transition of the interpenetration of dimensions / realms.  We breathe and sustain ourselves by moving in both (at least 2) worlds – on more than one track, we become / are the bridgers to the future and the restorers in collaboration with the planetary Soul Being we call Earth.  We are the first stages in the manifestation of the soul of humanity integrating into and partnering with the greater Earth Soul.  Only now do we begin to sense our and her role in the greater Kosmos as we together glide through our vast and endless One Soul journey – another layer of holon scaling ever larger into infinity, into the Eternal Now.

Posted by: judywallace | July 11, 2011

Interpenetration – Human and Cosmic

Continuing with the same dream entitled “Return of the Goddess”.  This part relates to another level of integration / interpenetration.  The Goddess holds in her hand two intertwined boys, one a symbolic representation of the human being’s pure and perfect soul.  The other is a symbol of the human being’s autonomous “I” burdened with a cross, an image of the human who must wrestle with the challenges of life.

As Marko writes, “The child of perfection and the child of human fate are bound to each other interactively, so that together they take on the form of a pomegranate (many seeds of potential, fruitfulness – my addition).”  He continues, “Does this mean that the confusing separation of the human ‘I’ from the perfection of its own spiritual soul essence is in the process of resolution?  That would also lift the danger to which modern human beings regularly fall victim, of being led astray by their one separated ‘I’, the so-called Ego.  The meaning of this aspect of the message is that the Ego will be integrated into the cosmic Wholeness through its renewed interaction with the individual’s spiritual soul.  Will this be the gift that the dancing Goddess brings to humanity?”

Art by Lisa Batshema

This interpenetration of soul and ego (or personality) self has been part of my spiritual journey for some time – to truly live and embody a soul infused life.  Knowing that personality continually reasserts itself, and noticing that, working with that.  And also learning how personality, as the unique way we each show up in the world, can be the gift of this incarnated human in service of soul purpose.  As I become ever more whole, fully present and alive, I become the human tool of soul manifestation here on and with Earth.  And I sense that our planet has been awaiting this so we can partner with her (and her cosmic family).  I now see many who are aligning personality with soul in service of the call they hear.  And we are finding each other.

My more recent exploration into the collective feminine as embodied and experienced in Women Moving the Edge has certainly activated this integration of soul/personality on an even more expansive level in me.  From this place I am continually integrating on many levels, committed to a life of service.

The exploration now takes on a larger perspective – the integration / interpenetration of collective soul and ego.  We must come together to continually inquire and sense into this larger multi-layered Soul Self.  How is evolution moving through us (and all that collective is)?  In our circles and gatherings we are beginning to build this more expansive capacity.  Only taking our first steps it seems; and yet trusting our knowing, we are present there.

Posted by: judywallace | July 10, 2011

Interpenetration Taking Form

Interpenetration taking form

Marko Pogacnik’s Gaia’s Quantum Leap has been my gentle and frequent companion book over the past few months.  Marko shares a compilation of profound dream images that open perspective and multi-interpretative possibility in the greater context of Earth’s transition within her multi-dimensional cosmic presence and home.  And I am often taken with what some of these dream images might be calling forth in us as humans in the greater community of LIFE on this planet.

Dream 41:  Return of the Goddess pp. 130-134

Illusion of 2 full moons

Three streams of energetic teachings call to me in Marko’s interpretation of this dream. I am not including all the dream imagery here – more a kind of taking note of wisdom that flows along with me and others in the stream of exploring the feminine as She is coming to the fore now.  The first dream interpretation is included here.

The coming together of the masculine and feminine, God & Goddess:

Marko writes, “The dance of the goddess is identical to the dance of the life force through which the fabric of creation is continually enlivened. The recurring reversals in the direction of the dance also remind us of the life-giving motions of the vital forces that are regularly polarized following the Yin/Yang principle. … images convey various messages that establish the feminine point of view of the divine in today’s era of cosmic change. They point to complete innovations of which we humans have scarcely any inkling.”

“They (these images) affirm the end of the separation between the principles of God and Goddess.  We are approaching an era in which the divine feminine includes her masculine complement.  But there will be no new division of “world rule” between God and Goddess.  As present in the dream image, there will be a mutual interpenetration of both principles that enables the Goddess simultaneously to be God – which will also be true in reverse.”

As I read these words, this integration /interpenetration of masculine and feminine dropped into me at a deeper level than previously.  Interpenetration moves in us as humans, to ground and be embodied in those that can hold this; AND at the same time we are a reflection of what is moving on many levels. Has this been coming all along as archetypal evolution unfolds in this dimension? It is hard to imagine what this might mean in the Future, how this will become embodied.  Yet it seems totally right.

Fiery Cosmic Interpenetration

I also wonder how we are to hold the masculine and feminine so that this interpenetration begins to reveal itself – not only as the best of each manifesting as one, but also a whole new way of being that we have not yet imagined.

Can we hold the fire?

Posted by: judywallace | June 19, 2011

Letters of Vibration

On Sunday June 12, a circle of women gathered to be present to the Letters of Vibration – Hebrew language letters that are beautifully represented as they called to Lisa and came through her onto the paper in recent months.

From the circle we were invited to choose a letter and, each in our own way, to sense more deeply into this letter.  The one I had, TAV, can be found here.  I noticed that I could have moved into this with any letter and that they were really each part of a whole, as if they were dancing together.

One of my current practices is to sense the subtle through my back, especially the heart.  I am so unaccustomed to moving through my back that the logical mind cannot interfere. And I sometimes move backward or engage in movement of some kind.  This evening I spent my time this way and could have continued – but realized it was time to see what was present.  These words are what came onto the page, especially inspired by TAV, the letter I held.

Letters of Vibration

Symbols in vibrational relationship,

Moving in and between,

Connecting, enclosing, circling one another.

Coming here through the subtle realms,

Taking form in color and sound,

Calling in our creative human collaboration

To sense beyond time, space, and place.

To open the heart to the inter-dimensional

Heartbeat of all of Life.

To embody the sacred

In the freedom from our own imposed bondage,

Riding the wave into the wholeness emerging

From the fires of transformation.

With fierce gentleness

Sing with joy and celebration.

Be radiant contradiction

Integrating the many worlds.

See all the letters at

Posted by: judywallace | June 12, 2011

Circles Moving in Me

How are these circles moving in me?

Following 3 women’s circles preceding the Mini Women Moving the Edge in June 2011, I felt an urge to write about my own place and growth in this process. I am ever more embodied and finding true ground in every way.  All as the subtle is ever more present.  So I ask – how are these circles moving in me?   What is evolving in me?  And taking another step back, how are we hosting with the subtle worlds?  (This latter question will call in more writing)

Morning shadows light the path

The following is from my morning journal on June 11, 2011.  My writing, my sensing happens very slowly, almost like sensing into each word – and sometimes there are no words.  I invite you to read, to absorb, and to take in from that very slowed down place of presence in you.  And even to see and sense beyond the words.

My sense is of being an instrument of the future unfolding, of playing my notes/chords to call in harmonic synchronization.  Everything becomes less and less personal, slowly taking one step at a time.  Moving into the impersonal, the fleetingly impermanent, the seemingly impermeable; and yet as each new horizon appears, I permeate, and am permeated, interpenetrated.  As an embodied human presence born of and into an older system, the resonance of the new plays in me seeking the way along the frontiers of evolution.

As I co-host these circles, as I (and we) call humans into wholeness of presence, in some mysterious and subtle way, we recognize and find one another.  Through the melody of conversation, we begin to harmonize our song.  As we witness one another in radiance, as our embodied words (like tones) find union in synthesis, we glimpse the best in us.  We see the future potential of humans learning to co-imagine and co-create with the subtle; we experience this as a presence in our midst.

As I (and we) call circles, held in the sacred, other presences/beings are attracted and come to see and listen.  “Is it time for us now, they wonder.  Are these humans, in their inquiry, calling us to be here?  We have hoped, waited patiently for this.  Let us make our presence known.”  (And subtly, gently they do)

As a human, now one of many, hosting in varying contexts, opening sacred space in circle, this goes far beyond the personal.  My experience is that evolution is freeing itself in and through me.  As personality becomes the servant to soul, to planetary and cosmic impulse and intention, the impersonal becomes the outward manifestation of the personal.  Convergence into oneness – as evolution, seeking ground in this realm, finds its freedom and unique balance in and through me.

Clarity in the context of haze

These circles are witness.  They mirror this potential in me and each woman present.  Something greater than we is moving in our presence.  It is soft, often wisp and elusive, and yet very solid (aligned) and alive.  Fierce gentleness, gentle fierceness is finding its way. We are not always sure why, but know we must be here.  We are here!  NOW!

Later as I was going back to some readings on geomancy, I began to understand something more about this embodied experience of the subtle.  I see that sensing into the subtle, sensing each word as it comes, I begin to feel the timeless space of fullness and resonance vibrating in me, in these very delicate slowed down moments.  I am challenged and yet called to trust that my experience is one beyond this time and space dimension, or at least a taste of it. We, as humans, are learning to move into the multi-dimensional; beyond, and yet just beside, the space/time home we now know as life here on Earth.

In these circles we open a space for this future potential.  We have an embodied experience outside of time and space (place), and yet we are all very present here.  It is holding this contradiction that opens the new frontier – to collaborate and participate with the subtle – to reach new clarity in right timing and right place to generate the new.   

I note – the question for the Mini Women Moving the Edge on June 21, 22 is present with me here –

How do we learn more about the embodied experience of the subtle – to reach (collective) clarity in right timing and right place in generating a new way of being?

Posted by: judywallace | June 11, 2011

Havesting Reflections Women’s Circle June 8, 2011


Reflective Harvesting from our Women’s Circle June 8, 2011

(What I write here is coming out of the third circle – a series of 3 as seeding the Mini Women Moving the Edge June 21, 22 that I will co-host with Ria Baeck and Lisa Abby.)

How might our embodied experience of the subtle help us reach new clarity?

Six women in circle settled easily into the deep space of the subtle.  Even as we brought our voices present to check in, we had already dropped in – as the first woman stretched to find words, to express her recent experience into unexpected mystery.

From the essence of walking meditation to another’s sense of becoming the embodied pendulum, a rich evening unfolded. As I sense back now into that sacred time, I recall a theme of learning and seeking integration, the bringing together of two worlds (or is it more than two?) To embody and to live the capacity to be in stillness and also to act and do from that place.  The elusive veil of proximity invites us to listen and speak, to cultivate inner as well as outer.  To be and do from wholeness.

It seems there is a kind of peripheral vision (like the half closed eyes in walking meditation, seeing and yet a bit out of focus), a sense of being part of; and yet the view is passing slowly by, giving a sense of impermanence.  Are we glimpsing the beauty beyond the veil?  Are these still elusive kinds of sensings drawing us toward new clarity? 

My reflection of how embodiment wove into expression brings a couple of instances to me now.   To become the pendulum, like a tuning fork, to sense the energy in one’s own being and in the ‘field’ – to invite the body’s wisdom into our wholeness of knowing.  Like an instrument we fine tune, we can sense the timing to speak in a meeting, or when to be silent.  For me this is an exquisite level of sensitivity, of the sensual elegance of the embodied experience that we are only beginning to cultivate.

Also present in our conversation – the trauma of the feminine.  The circles of witches, women’s voices silenced.  We are in the process of healing our ancient wounding, of renewing, of giving new life to our subtle senses as humans, as embodied masculine and feminine beings.

One woman reminded our circle of the wisdom of the heart, its power far beyond the brain.  Let us learn to think with the heart mind.

To be witnessed, a gift for each as she expressed her embodied experience of the subtle, as we each opened and revealed what we often keep inside.  To witness and be witnessed.  And in this space, new clarity is revealed.  As we hold sacred the circle, the circle holds us.  My sense is we are not only witnessing one another but something larger, a kind of emergent collective presence that takes form as we, in presence, call her in.  She, they, are waiting to gather, to co-create with us.

Posted by: judywallace | May 8, 2011

Pods of Awakening – Journeying into the Subtle

A morning journal series – this collection begins April 22, 2011 with what I will now call – Pods of Awakening

I have been learning, experimenting, silencing into new ways of sensing, inspired by the writings and exercises of Marko Pogacnik in Sacred Geography and Gaia’s Quantum Leap. What I will capture here really only serves as wispy glimpses into this sensing experience beginning to live in me.   The gateway seems to be opening the heart center as a multi-directional portal – and especially cultivating and following the unknown, the unhabitual path moving out from the back – sensing into the deep and vast unknown.

April 22, 2011 – What is the future that is manifesting, or the potential that is in me, in us, here, now?  How is this showing up?  (my impulse was to look out about 500 years)

I see pods of human and collective creativity, of all beings, now more visible to us and working intentionally, all of us together.  Circles, morphing, moving effortlessly, interpenetrating realms and functions as we gracefully and effortlessly move in a life of wholeness, of co-creation.  The pods seem like large bubbles of light bouncing on the land, connected to energy places on the Earth where the new collaborative wholeness of Earth civilization is taking form.

Outside the bubble of light there are still many areas of devastation, and suffering, death, or humans barely surviving.  The old ways are dying, the new is manifesting in the midst of the compost heap of the old.  The humans still living the old way do not see these lighted bubbles, these places and pods of joyous collective aliveness.  We see them (from the bubble) around, they do not see us as they still do not perceive beyond the veil.

There are those of us who are Bridgers, the connectors, and we are teams of humans and invisible beings on the outside.  We pierce the veil to re-enter the dying space-time continuum, to work with and offer possibility to the young especially, who are curious, open, and wanting to transform.  They are open to new learning.  We, the Bridger Teams, work in many ways – in education and schools, health care, business, spiritual centers and many places  -anywhere where humans might be who are curious and who know there is something more.  (Later I had the sense that we may actually take incarnated form or not – as needed)  The humans hear the call and very gradually they begin to learn / sense / see the subtle, the loving whole connection of all of life and how our greater human role is to use our intelligence and soul callings to be in connection with the planetary and cosmic cycles, the evolutionary tensions and intentions.  From the smallest particle and being to the brightest star.

What if this vision of the future 500 years from now is here now?  What if we are the ones living in the old way in the midst of a chaotic and dying way of life on this planet?   What if some of us are the Bridgers, we just don’t know it when we are on this side of the veil.  Maybe we travel through to another realm at night, or out of time?  We learn more there (or renew in some way) so we can return and apply it here.  Is this the interpenetration happening on multiple levels now?  I find this hard to conceive and describe from this side of the veil. And yet I have a sense it is all here NOW.

Posted by: judywallace | November 24, 2010

Community of WE

This journal entry began on Nov. 21, 2010 after an inquiry between Helen and Albert on Integral London began living in me.  My question – how are we to now collectively presence – moving up the right side of the U?  Helen spoke of authenticity (can’t fake it when playing with the kosmos).  Albert spoke of robust anchoring in all cycles of the U.  What of the interior condition of the interveners?  For me – of the collective We – the co-creative council of beings holding and stewarding the open space of emergence?  Here is what has found expression in me then and today.

Into the Unknown Sea


 I sense that the individual and collective journey down the U is a clearing, a refining, a purification, and letting go of the not-needed including the small self into the birthing of the presencing process so that, in the most expansive (deep and wide) level of continuous inquiry, we can reach a vibrational frequency where the other-than-human community are invoked into co-presence. They tentatively and attentively await this level of human integrity, of individual and collective authenticity, that can be the fertile co-creative birthing ground for the larger community of beings (human and other) to call in together the future potential.  It seems only as this level of finely tuned and refined co-presencing in us is well cultivated and stable, do the other realms begin to play.

Is this why the right side of the U is a slippery slope?  Our current context even as to who we are (the collective WE) is too limited.  The journey has until now not fully included the multiplicity of presences (of kosmic proportions) that are the pre-requisite in the next evolutionary unfolding. 

As we humans begin to tap into our sensing apparatus, long dormant, we must actively invite the others, this larger context, to mentor our learning, fine tuning our communication, helping to activate capacities barely operational as yet.  Through in-the-moment accessing of source, in moment-to-moment emergence, this collective Being we become begins to express on this plane of matter, through the larger WE. A wholeness of Presence in the collapse of space time opens a glimmer of the mirage on the silver glistening and shadowy sea of the vast unknown.  It is as if we drop our fishing lines together, there at the edge. We wait, listen, sense, and together we experience a larger NOW, eternal and yet fleeting, an emergent way of knowing, of inviting the wholeness of potential to be present in our midst.

Journey into the Night Sea Sky

Night Sea Sky - meeting in the Unknown


The journey from here is uncharted.   Prototyping and rapid action seem to be the ‘great white’ we humans have been chasing, an illusion we have been trying to harpoon for eons.  Just as this great whale of potential in the vast unknown sea alludes and escapes us, will not be tamed, must be ever wild; we are continually called to step back, to connect with other entities who are in resonance, to reconnect to Source, to the natural rhythms of life.  We humans are to cultivate authenticity and the slow subtleness of presence, to gently recast our line (maybe more like a net now as we interweave whole communities of realms and threads), re-charting and remapping and navigating anew in each moment of lived experience the denser layers of matter.  As this collective We, we are recontextualizing up the U, welcoming and penetrating the disturbance and uncertainty that are shielding and resisting submission – the old ways of escaping and protecting that have heretofore not opened to receive.  Through these layers of consciousness – the more evolved are gently and lovingly holding presence for the resistance, honoring what once worked, crafting new connections in the invisible life matrix – shifting and lifting the veil. And when resistance begins to lessen, begins to soften, even becomes a field of love that holds receptivity and collaboration; the subtle miniscule movements up the U, always informed from source, iterative and delicate, can begin to co-manifest through this vast community into form.  In a continual rebirthing the future begins to find ground, to activate, and repattern Life at a cellular and universal level. After many movements in this infinite dance, multi-dimensional levels of being gracefully explode and shape continuous bursts of transformational radiance.  New substance is born.

Who are the ones called now to chart these unknown waters?  To embody the Collective We – the co-creative community of Beings stewarding and experimenting together in each moment, beyond the barriers of space and time?  Who holds the patience and presence of unrelenting intention and purpose in collaboration with the planetary consciousness on our voyage into the kosmic realms?  Who are WE?

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