CCC Virtual Circle of Conscious Creation Harvest April 16, 2015
As we learn to embody transition – with its seeming paradox of leaping and tethering, soaring and grounding,
How might our sense of Self, family, community, place, work, even our sense of belonging, be changing?
(Just prior to the call) Nina: Card in the flow game: Action without vision can be like a bulldozer forcing its way through. But vision without action is like a beautiful painting shut away, where nobody sees it.
Present: Judy in Colorado, Saira in Massachusetts, Lena in Austria, and Nina in Brussels
Collective Presencing Circle Conversation
Heart and Egg as talking pieces
As we learn to embody transition – with its seeming paradox of leaping and tethering, soaring and grounding,
How might our sense of Self, family, community, place, work, even our sense of belonging, be changing?
Nina: I have a feeling of untethering. The feeling has been boosted in recent weeks because I am following the Charles Eisenstein on-line course, called the Space Between Stories. Very much about transition but also very much about Not Knowing, about resting in a space that is not the old story, but not completely the new story either. (Nina dropped off)
(some laughing in the group and these comments)
Lena: Resting in the unknown.
Saira: She became untethered.
Some talk of how to reconnect her, but there was no way.
Judy: It’s like learning to deal with the uncertainty of the unknown, the kind of glitches that just seem to happen or the way things become not the way they are supposed to be and to continue to work with that and be present in all that we are.
Nina: (she later types in) I came untethered – ha ha…
Lena: Heart. I was a bit confused with the first part of the question. Learn to embody transition? How do we learn to embody transition? What are our tools to embody transition? We try out different things – like Nina is on this on-line course, we try out so many things. Can we really learn that or do we really need to learn it? Or is it something that just happens. Transition happens all the time. We have a concept in our heads that transition needs to look a certain way. It needs to be something Big, move yourself from one place to another. Transitions are diverse and also small and barely noticeable. I don’t know, so was just wondering about this part of learning to embody transition?
Second part of the question, I was really feeling Yeah, Wow, that is what is changing in my life about the belonging and the sense of self, and family, and community and place, and work, everything has changed and in a nice way. I am really amazed to discover this new type of life, more life than I have ever had in my life. Maybe when I was very young, but in between life was a lot of work, in the sense of what is called work. Now I am struggling with undoing all the things that I linked to work, have to get up early, have to go to offices or places where you do not really want to be that time of the day, but you still do it, because it’s work, and it’s what you should be doing, what you have to be doing. If you don’t do it, you are struggling with the fact that you are not doing it. I think I am over that part; maybe that is the transition that I have made so far, but not completely. I want to let go of this must, having to have this structure. Work is becoming more fluid. Work can be any connection with someone else. And work can be when I am out in the garden planting herbs. That’s also part of my work now. Others may not call it work; they would call it a hobby. So what is work? And community? On the farm we had as our slogan, Obenaus – living in community. And then I thought not so many living here, only 4 people – me, my children and my husband. Not much community in that sense. Then I realized that if I take away living in community, it is a community. It’s a local community, it’s a global community, and also it is a way of living. It’s a living community. As I just came back from the Learning Village where it was very much a living community, a very, very nice experience. Living with as little structure as possible, with almost no rules. And it was sometimes a struggle, but most of the time it was really really nice. The focus there was how can we really share our gifts with each other and what happens then? The richness of what happened was when the acceptance was there and the assumptions and judgments were put aside. So much can happen when you really start valuing each other, really supporting each other in a loving way. I saw amazing things happening in just these 5 days. The bonding there is really, really strong. And the learning village continues. As we continue to travel we always meet people from the village that somehow managed to arrange that they could be in the same place as we were and we were also arranging to be in the same place as they were. Now some are coming here tomorrow and on Monday another two. It’s interesting what’s happening right now. There’s a lot of opening up. A lot of heart to heart connections and it gives me a lot of hope. I put the Heart in the middle again.
Judy: Heart. What is it or what can it mean to learn to embody transition? I am just sensing into that a little bit more. It seems for me like I am called to be fully grounded, present in human form, and yet things are shifting and changing all the time. And to be fully present to that. To be in that Not Knowing! It does feel a bit untethered because what was familiar isn’t really there now. Or as what you spoke, Lena, about work and what it used to feel like. That might have been familiar but I don’t want to be there anymore. And yet, do I fully know what is next? Not always, but I get some clues. So I am just watching as I open more and more, what seems to synchronistically show up. It seems as if – when I am more and more willing to step forward, more shows up. And when I release all my expectations that seems to open that door wider. And sometimes there’s so much there, it’s almost scary. I want to back up a little bit. So there’s times lately too when I feel like – and this is kind of the part about the leap or the soaring – and still needing to be grounded or somehow connected. Tether is a word that is kind of hard. It has a sense of limiting or restricting. And yet, maybe it just means to be linked or that there is at least a thread that is connecting me to Earth, to you, and to all that we are doing here, and to something beyond. What I thought of this morning in my quiet time, was how part of what I do sometimes or am called to do – to kind of be in two places at the same time, not physically, but in presence. So to take that leap out of the manifest realm. It could be in a grouping of people, any kind of gathering or meeting. There’s a part of me that’s looking at it from some distant perspective and watching what’s going on in the system. Kind of a meta view. And noting and seeing something I might not see when I am immersed, and yet being immersed in the system at the same time. And so those 2 things are going on. (Nina is back, I could hear her breathing). I feel like I am being called somehow to take this visionary or higher or broader perspective all the time. And to hold that, and yet to notice what is going on in the system, and its patterning, and its re-patterning, and it’s struggle all at the same time – as I am present there. Maybe that’s how I will have the presence or vision or whatever is needed, hopefully with others, to shift something in the old patterning, or the Old Story. Feels like an important piece of me learning to embody this transition and to be in these different perspectives or places or a different sense of self and of community.
Nina: Back now and can hear you🙂
But we could not really understand her when she spoke. So she began typing as we worked with the interruptions in transition.
Nina: it’s sharing the experience I think.
I called in by Skype as the phone went dead, and it’s not so good either. And I feel in the space between!
The course isn’t about teaching so much, as about sharing.
One of the stories shared was about how we language things – with assumptions and language that we take from the Old Story. Even telling ourselves to take a break or let go of the old can be part of the Old Story – the “New Thing” I HAVE to do to be good, etc.
(Nina: Funny that you can hear the breathing but not the speaking!! We all giggle a bit.)
Lena: (While Nina was typing) I wonder why it’s often hard to hear Nina. Here we are in the middle of the countryside (in Austria), and we just have this old copper line. Not a very speedy line. I am on the telephone. Just amazed. In the village they are discussing if we will get a good and speedy Internet connection. It would really be good so we could have a Co-working space. We call it a cow-working space because we want to have it in the cow barn! And have people coming from the cities and just working here. Bringing their projects and laptops. At the same time being able to be in nature. We are seeing what technology makes possible. It is quite amazing. Coming back to our tools for transition, I think that is also very very important. Just the tools, a bit speeding up, without getting stressed about it. We don’t have that much time! Our little lifetime in this life that we are here. At the same time it is nice to go away from the notion of time, and like you said, to be fully grounded and present in each moment. Time doesn’t matter. I think that is also what makes it possible to move from one place to the other without much effort. We were traveling for 3 weeks through Scandinavia, and doing constellation work, which brought us very present. It was really effortless to travel. For me it is really the practice – to practice the grounding and the presencing in each moment. Heart back.
Nina: The thought about untethering was to do with letting go also of the language of “should” and “ought to“…becoming sensitive to the narrative of the old way. Piece back and thanks for your patience!🙂
(Nina went went off and got back by phone so her voice should be clear! But we lost her again soon)
Saira: Heart. It’s been amazing to be on this call because I feel like we fade in an out – I hear pieces of what people are saying – and it’s incredibly connected, what each of you have said. I am feeling very quiet – sitting in my studio. On the wall in front of me I have 12 paintings that I’ve done over this winter and I have another stack here on the table. I’ve mentioned in earlier calls – in December I woke with a clear message of what I was to pursue in painting and I have a show in June in France. What I heard coming out of my dream state was that I was to be making spirit portraits of individuals who have lived physically on this Earth, or objects that have lived physically on this Earth, and from each of these I would learn something that would bring me to a greater sense of wholeness, a wider range of skills. When I woke form this in December, my reaction was, “No that’s not what I want to do”. I’ve been making paintings for decades about physical environmental spaces, sacred sites in earlier times or places of high energy in the present time. So I embarked on this project. I woke and I made lists of individuals, then I started making these very small paintings which are invocations to a particular person. For each of them I immersed myself in the record they have left of their being on Earth. I spent the winter months quite isolated because of the storms; the snow, but in a very quiet place in my studio. Here I have 12 images in front of me. It’s remarkable to see them because I see there are some very ancient voices, some more contemporary, and there’s also a tree. I think I have mentioned this tree in an earlier call, behind the abbey Sanonque in Provence. I have an image invoking Lau Tzu. I was facilitating at a Gloucester Conversation a week ago, Monday, and before going into that meeting I called on Lau Tzu as I have come to know him, as a kind of spirit guide. I found a lot of strength in that as I entered into the conversation that night. So each of these individuals has a very different voice, a very different way of embodying the sacred in the physical. It’s very interesting as we were talking in this conversation, the painting I was working on yesterday, I started as a painting of my spirit teacher I have been working with for decades. I thought I don’t want to give him a name publicly. How do I bring my vision into action, but as I was working on this small painting, I all of a sudden realized he was shape shifting. There was a form I was familiar with I had not thought about for a very long time that was simultaneously superimposed on his presence. This morning I got an unrelated mail where a friend in France needed a set of pictures and could I put pictures on a CD to send to her. I went onto IPhoto and was going through all these pictures and all of a sudden there was this picture of a small statue that I had taken at the Louvre in Paris 5 years ago. And that’s the figure that was shapeshifiting with my spirit teacher – it was shocking to see it in front of me in its physical dimensions. So there’s this amazing synchronicity, which I feel tremendous connection and strength to all these individuals who I’m am coming to know and who I can call on. My sense of community is expanding as I connect with these individuals who I – I sit in such awe. One is Lau Tzu, another is the Sufi Rumi, another is Lilith(?), and a very ancient bird form in one painting and in another who she is as a woman, but also bird form. And the Pygmies that I spent 2 years studying and learning their drawings and connected with in the forests of Africa. They are one of the peoples I connected to through this work, painting. I feel hugely enlarged by having embarked on this work. This work that is so unlike my teaching because it comes so fluidly and without schedule, or without the structure, words that have been spoken out this call. I enter my studio and I’m in this floating world up on the top floor and the light floats the space. In the painting I am working on, but started on yesterday, the figure is tethered. And the tether is a cord, which tethers to the navel of the Earth. It’s not an anchor but a kind of holding zone to our physical reality, our physical embodiment. I am looking at this figure now as it’s kind of biomorphically shape shifting. That’s sitting next to a painting of Rumi, and it also has that transparency from the movement, but it’s an entirely different embodiment of the life force. So I’m very gratefully changing with the work that I’m doing. Heart back.
Judy: I want to be sure to hear from each of you again before we conclude. I notice there’s been all these little interesting untetherings that shift and shape-shift the ‘field’ we’re in. The paintings, or the people that you just brought in, or the spirits I guess they are – they are like another circle. They’re a circle there for you, and I feel like they are here in some way with us, simply by your invoking and naming them.
Lena: I was hesitating whether to pick up the heart or the egg. I think I will take the egg, but it’s like an open egg. It’s cracked. And lots and lots is coming out. And I love the story, Saira, of what you are doing. I would love to see your pictures. I can kind of see them in me; it’s wonderful to hear your sharing.
It brought me to think about the friend that was here. She was a little shy, but she was able to see the soul of people – what the soul wanted to say, what the soul wanted to come out with. The people around her. But she could never say anything, because she thought they would think she is pretty crazy. And now lately she has been coming out with this. And it’s not straight forward information, but stories, almost like paintings, telling about where your soul is coming from – which planet, which kind of energy you are coming from. It makes such sense; it has helped me so much to understand where I am coming from and where R (her partner) is coming from, which is a completely different planet. I come from planet Earth, like an elf being, and he is from another star system. This really explains a lot about how he functions and about how I function. Our friend decided to come with us and was in the Learning Village. She was helping people to see where their soul comes from and what does it want here on Earth. Then, of course, they can do what they want with it. Very deep. So interesting with this happening now in these times, how things are becoming much more transparent. I just love seeing people unfolding. And when they get such strength out of this knowing, and so much more clarity. The way that we are doing things which might be different to other people, but just because that’s who we are, that’s where we come from. That’s what I sense right now. It is so exciting to see what’s going to happen, and what’s going to unfold, and how we can work with this to really get to another level. Put cracked egg back.
Nina: I have dropped off again😦 Would love to see your pictures, Saira, wonderful to hear your sharing.
Judy: It’s interesting, I’ve noticed that even for these calls, the Circle of Conscious Creation, there are people who don’t come, or who rarely come, yet somehow they stay in touch a little bit with me, and tell me how much they appreciate staying on the list, and seeing the harvest, even if they are not able to come at this time. It feels like somehow those who are invited, or those who express interest in what we are doing here, or Nina who has been here so often, that they are very much present, even if we can’t hear them or hear their voices. In some way they are in the field. It reminds me of that more subtle sensing that we are developing that you talk about in your paintings, Saira, of invoking the spirit that becomes even more, becomes very present, and even shape-shifts. And Lena what you were speaking out, this woman who can know or see things about soul purpose, or connection, or where they came from. These expanding in a way having some tethers to what’s not totally embodied here right now and yet in some way present and is with us and will always be with us. This may be part of what we are learning in this transition, transitioning beyond time and space. It’s as if that happens when we feel the presence of others who are not physically or technologically with us. Learning to span other realms even as we ground here, we come into community together, we have our work to do here on planet Earth. I liked the cracked egg, Lena. It’s truly cracking open, so I put it back.
Saira: I will pick up the egg which I see is cracked and gooey, and fluid. Hmm – I am so aware of staying in the present moment. I am realizing, sitting in my studio, I am not thinking of what’s next or where this goes, or where I will go with it. I am amazed at all that’s happened since I answered that call in December, making these paintings. And the incredible richness it’s brought into my life. Without any thought of where I was going with it. Staying present feels really essential, staying present and aware of where I am in any given moment, and depending on the need of whatever activity I engage in that I have this community of friends in Earth existence, community on this call, and this community with these teachers. It’s lovely to be in conscious creation. Thank you, this call has been a really wonderful call. I feel like I am missing so much of what Nina was saying; I couldn’t hear and then she dropped out. I am aware of missing that and wish well for her.
Judy: It is interesting how, and I have felt this before especially with those of us who come often, how we are in a sense our own little community of conscious creation. It feels so nourishing to me and it’s just like the circle of beings that you have painted Saira, or like all the people you come across, Lena, traveling from here to there. Each of us bring our own special gift, life experience, the presence of who we are as humans into the circle, including into this call. It seems like that has some kind of energetic amplification power or presence on its own. We miss one when she is not here, like Nina.
Nina: (writing) Just took an angel card. It was “courage” and showed a picture of an angel leaping headfirst into …the space between, maybe?! Lots of love Nx
Silence and Bell for Closing
Next call May 21, 2015
Since Nina was not heard on so much of this call, she and I had another call later. Here is part of that. I notice some things coming through on the meaning of work, which was present on the CCC call. And of course, this conversation is on a different day – so let’s see what’s present for Nina on this day.
Call with Nina April 30, 2015
Nina: A breakthrough in a work project. Hierarchy was trying to control. It was called out. We can’t go along with that. They wanted it the way the political big wigs would want. Ego based. What I am there for is research to align more with those using the Commission. Our work would be in background. We would not sign. Limbo since then. 2 separate but equal web sites. Feels like foundation of house we are building. If that shakes, we should stop building. Shook my confidence in the integrity of the team. Part of team held knowledge they knew would be unpalatable to me and others. It came out. Now we know we were being deceived. Difficult to live with. After Easter, what if I took a year off and then prolonged it indefinitely. Lit like a flame, I felt liberated. I could walk away. I had a few days of feeling numb to the world of work. Surreal, superficial, I had lost trust. We are like chess pieces. Can’t be part of this. Deeper meaning in contrast to silly office life. Last couple of days more positive energy. Detailed report of what we have done, good, solid, rigorous work. Predates deception before Easter. Bathed in the energy of that work on this report. Had hope come back to me. Clear report, professional. A sound wave, when we sound our bell, energy of the good, purposeful, well-intended work will ripple out again. Also a wounded side that feels it got kicked very badly. I am wary now. Watching intently for the decision of the 2 characters of the sites. Will they really be separate. Interesting how strong this new flavor of relationship with my job came in. Felt sick to the back teeth with it. Now in the Not Knowing.
Charles Eisenstein course, probably fanned the flame. 900 people on the course. Stepping out of the old paradigm. Not the old stories. Felt encouraged to step farther in my thinking than to date. Huge financial implications, things we take for granted. Feel anxiety. On the one hand I long to have an empty schedule for months ahead of me, to do nothing, and see what comes up in me to do. I wonder if I would feel foolish for having taken such a drastic step.
Finances – I feel ready to step away – 3 children will soon be in university. Don’t want to compromise those possibilities.
Feels important wherever you are to resonate with a lighted intention. No attachment to that Organization, just happens to be where I am. Not going to save it, or make something. If I and others bring a different vibration in maybe – No maybe about it! That’s good enough! It may be a dying system, but I am alive, and here! I don’t turn up to try to do or make it something else. I just try to be a magnet for a different consciousness. Or represent something different within it. The mundane stuff that comes into my awareness, desk, computer – the stuff with which I deal is irrelevant. The texture of the soil I am growing in. Irrelevant except on the 3rd dimension. On every other level it’s irrelevant. It has no bearing on the intention and energy really deep – that one can try and be a conduit for.